hecho en México también

Heartbreak—hecho en México también.

Capitalism kissed me and cursed me there.

Colonization kissed me and cursed me there.

Catholicism kissed me and cursed me there.

Classism kissed me and cursed me there.

Colorism kissed me and cursed me there.

He kissed me and cursed me there.

Heartbreak

Heartbreak hits moving targets
Unlearned by unsettled bodies
Being still is a skill

I want to be the butterfly when I am the flower
I want to be the flower when I am the butterfly

Neither are Eternal
Both are

I want

I want to see your smile and how your hair looks when it’s wet.

I want to feel your skin next to mine in bed.

I want your big eyes and your slim figure.

I want your tight hugs.

Your accent and the warmth in your voice.

Were we always so disconnected?

Maybe I only attract the flaws I can handle.

I think that’s true.

Maybe I wish that I had big eyes and a slim figure too.

My sadness and wanting cycle in and out.

My sadness demarks my life.

My sadness is like the period at the end of a sentence.

My sadness reminds me that I am alive.

My eyes and heart are in working order.

Was I always so disconnected?

Maybe I am the flaw waiting to be handled.

I want to know what’s true.

And I understand.

I won’t find any answers with you.

Mi Alma

Mi Alma es mi vida meant to nourish kin

When I lie, it’s only down to dream of truths within

Gazing into mirrors, I glimpse beneath skin

This is the closest, the closest to the sun I’ve ever been

La agua es mi sangre keeping me alive 

Swimming in truths, grounding energy, where I thrive 

Feeling earth, I know our connections, they hold up the sky 

Cielo o cielo, each day we die 

Born again every second, every blink of every eye 

Mariposas flapping wings and change in every cry 

Feeding rivers and soil and hearts, mouths, and minds 

Mi alma es mi vida es tu vida, be kind

Porque purity can’t save us, parity is truth

Every mess made requires hands and hearts as cleanup crew

El peligro, el peligro if there’s no pause 

Never let despair prevent us from a better cause 

Mi alma es mi vida meant to nourish kin

Mi alma es mi vida es tu vida también 

Garden of a home

You will start to grow a garden of a home

spreading seeds in cities where you’ve felt all alone

gestating across months, seasons, and years

sprouting far-reaching vines after sorrows disappear.

This poem first appeared on my Instagram account. View it here.

Here

Beyond baseless borders forged by

Broken treaties

Past savage battlefields justified by

Desecrated deities

We are here

Existing for more than resisting chaotic

Cacophonies of conspiracy

We thrive

Strengthened through community

Care and connection

Our bodies moved by invisible threads

Radiating heart to hand

When tense

We break

Soften for impact

Dis ease may have been fate

Refuse to make it destiny

Apocalypse

I am 30 years old and under the apocalyptic Texas sun I will turn 31

With the spread of disease with no government mitigation

With ongoing genocide since before the inception of this nation

I'm seeking lovers during the apocalypse

Lovers meaning more than one

Holding the belief that patriarchal colonial systems of relations can be undone

Consecutive or concurrent, with no desire to find "the one"

To consummate camaraderie and undo webs of avoidable disaster that have been spun

I am 30 years old and under the apocalyptic Texas sun I will turn 31

And still I'm seeking lovers during the apocalypse

Silence

Silence on the issue at hand is deafening.

I hear it louder than the applause at venue shows.

Where people hold microphones yet don't speak up for the peace, power, or protection of the Palestinian people.

People who are experiencing genocide via our payments to the U.S imperial war machine.

We are connected.

---

Silence was first performed before a moment of silence and followed by a soundbath on 12/12/2024 at a Winter Solstice show hosted by Paul Kasperitis of Magpie Parlement Society.

It was later featured in the Riot: Art As Resistance exhibition in 2024.

War

Sibling's birthday

Grandparent's anniversary

There's a war going on outside

Friend's recital

Feeling suicidal

There's a war going on inside

---

War was featured in the sold-out Riot: Art As Resistance exhibition Zine. All zine proceeds went towards emergency aid support for a family in Gaza.

Stars

Aging is illuminating

Stars get brighter closer to death

The apocalyptic Sun, our reflection

Earth under our feet

We handle the heat

Three

Fearless

Proud

Free

Those were the three words I told my therapist I wanted to be

The year was twenty-eighteen when I felt the weight of my world start to crush me

It took at least two years to open up and share the fractured reality I had built, a matrix of misery that others could not see

Open up, I say to myself

Be fearless

Be proud

Be Free

Slaughter

There are those who would rather shoot missiles than sign peace treaties

Projecting insecurities into foreign bodies

Explosions

have their cake and eat it too surrounded by hot commodities

Massacres

covered by new media and twisted narratives with platitudes eaten up

What's a clean break when reasoning voices get drowned out by fake?

Pause before a punch up?

It feels great

No intentions of being a saint nor a martyr

More than a suicidal ideation daughter

Share what's seen and call it what it is

Slaughter

Cycle

I want to cycle alone in big circles in empty streets and parking lots.

When I fall I want to lay on the ground and roll my body until I reach a grassy patch.

Laying on the ground I want to breathe hot and heavy life through my lungs.

Nobody will know where I am except God.

When I get up from the ground I'll be reborn and that moment and memory will be only mine. 

Isolated

I was isolated before the pandemic

Dancing in a group of strangers and friends Searching for ecstasy in the next experience

Strobing lights on a foggy dancefloor

Huffs, puffs, sips, and half-remembered kisses

I was isolated before the pandemic

Sitting near a gray cat

Incubating after the pain of infidelity

Buzzing ac in a three hundred square foot apartment

Huffs, puff, sips, and half-remembered kisses

I was isolated before the pandemic

Laying with myself

Avoiding fuzzy truths and memories

Altered breathing fueling a soft body

Huffs, puffs, sips, and half-remembered kisses

I was isolated before the pandemic

l isolated myself before the pandemic

Appearing in front of coworkers

Pushing my being to fit into convention

Whirling laptop in grey conference rooms

Sighs, saved breaths, and a scrolling thumb as staples

l isolated myself before the pandemic

Posturing to an online audience

Sharing precious pieces of a whole experience

Ringing alarms on a light up screen

Sighs, saved breaths, and a scrolling thumb as staples

l isolated myself before the pandemic

Scrutinizing my body

Pulling flesh and grabbing skin

Crying eyes on a twisted face

Sighs, saved breaths, and a scrolling thumb as staples

l isolated myself before the pandemic